• Larkyn Simony

An Open Letter to Hello Fresh

Updated: Dec 5, 2020

I Already Made a Video Review; It’s Time for Action!

Dear Hello Fresh,

First, I’d like to say that the one time during my three weeks of trying your service I managed to make a meal, it was delicious.


However, I have some issues with you. You claim your meals take no more than 30 minutes to prepare.


Is that in dog minutes?


Just looking into the bag for one meal and noticing all the chopping that would be required made me immediately understand I’d be celebrating my next birthday before I finished the prep alone.


Because, after the chopping, there was stuff like making a sauce, sautéing random things, and the dreaded—shudder!—zesting of a lemon.

Now, for people who love cooking, I’m sure your service is excellent. But for people like me who don’t want to spend 16 hours chained to an oven to make one “quick weeknight meal,” well, then it’s not so great. I would even venture to say that people who love cooking do not want to do this either!

I see words in recipes like “zest,” “pare,” and “wash all vegetables thoroughly,” and I start to hyperventilate. I mean, for the price, those damn vegetables should magically wash and chop themselves. Because SO MUCH CHOPPING!


In fact, perhaps that is something to add to your business model in the future? Automation is a big deal right now, so you can maybe even trend on Twitter!

I did enjoy taking random ingredients out of the meal bags and making weird meals out of them, though. After I made that first delicious meal, I realized I did not want to complete the second one while on my deathbed.

Like, when I mixed a can of black beans with some of the cheese from one meal bag and added in a few random pine nuts from a different meal bag. It was oddly delicious.


And when I took the tortillas intended to make THE MOST COMPLICATED QUESADILLAS ON PLANET EARTH and toasted them with some feta cheese on top. That was quite tasty and took, like, four minutes.


My final opinion, Hello Fresh, is that you should adhere to the principle of truth in advertising and print on the outside of each meal bag:


WARNING: By the time you have finished making this meal, you will have gone through menopause/grown ear and nose hair/gestated and birthed a baby giraffe.


That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.


Sincerely,

Larkyn


Photo by Josué AS on Unsplash

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