Be the Glitter Bomb: Never Make Yourself Small
And Three Ways I'm Not Like Herpes!
I am a talker. I have always been a talker. I have so much going on in my brain all the time, and I get so excited about so many things that eventually, it just boils over and comes out. It's kind of like that scene in The Exorcist when Linda Blair's head spins around, and she projectile vomits all over everyone. Only my head doesn't spin around, and it's word vomit that comes out, and also, it's not green.
"You're like a tornado," I'm told. "You come into the room, and we talk, and then you're gone, and I have no idea what just happened, but actually in a good way."
I don't get as many adverse reactions to my talking as I think I will. It ends up being entertaining to many, even when I'm crawling under the table in my mind and silently admonishing myself, "Shut up! Shut up, idiot!"
People who are not talkers seem to appreciate me the most. When I am with other talkers, it's fantastic, except we interrupt each other a lot, and it's like being in the middle of IKEA on a weekend afternoon, and sometimes I need to lie down in a quiet place later.
I am not for everyone. I've been told I have a "big personality," which can be meant in a positive or negative way, depending on the situation and who says it. People usually love me or hate me, or start at one end and move to the other. There's not a whole lot of in-between.
I am a bomb that goes off in front of you, but I am a bomb filled with glitter. I am a glitter bomb.
I do realize glitter is often called the "herpes of craft supplies." However, herpes and I differ in three important ways:
1) Herpes does not talk to you, except maybe in a William S. Burroughs novel.
2) I will actually go away and leave you alone, and even never come back if you don't want me to.
3) You do not have to take Valtrex to keep me under control.
I can be loud, maybe obnoxious, depending on your tolerance level, and I can talk too much. I can also listen well, I'm compassionate, and I care a lot about other people and animals.
I try my best to be aware of my flaws. I try to make room for other people to talk and make sure I am listening. I ask people to tell me when I'm not doing these things, and when they do, I do my best to fix it.
I take up space in this world, sometimes more space than people are used to. I make some people uncomfortable. I overwhelm some people. I have been told I am "intimidating," that I need to "chill out,“ and that I am "too much."
I don't know how one random person decides they possess knowledge of the gold standard of how much is "too much." I assume I am too much for them.
As I said, I'm not for everyone, and the beautiful thing is, I don't have to be!
Anyone can choose to friend-dump me, or for-real dump me, or ghost my ass, or quit speaking to my ass because they think I'm annoying AF. They can find people more suited to them. I can find people more suited to me. It's amazing!
You can, and should, always be the real you, too! Be loud, quiet, energetic, laid back, fast-paced, slow-paced, a tornado, or a calm spring rain. Be the soothing smoke and crackling of a campfire, Or be a bomb, even a glitter bomb. Try not to be herpes.
None of us is just one thing. None of us has only one side to us. We are all so many things and have many different facets worth liking and loving. Walt Whitman knew what was up when he wrote, "I am large. I contain multitudes." Walt Whitman took up space and was himself, and you can do it, too!
Never, ever, ever make yourself smaller, make yourself take up less space, or be less you so someone else can feel better about themselves or to gain someone's approval.
People who need you to be small so they can feel big are the real herpes!
Be who you are, and you will find your people. Because if you try to be anything other than who you are, the "your people" you locate won't be your people at all. You will be a calm spring rain collecting the people of a tornado. Not that spring rains and tornadoes can't be each other's people, but you know what I mean.
Be yourself because the only way to feel loved and appreciated is by knowing it's for who you are at your core and not for being the person someone else wants or needs you to be.
Everyone has the right to metaphorically and verbally, when needed, tell someone else to go fuck themselves. Everyone has the right to leave or stay. Even if someone leaves, other people will be along soon, and some of them will fit better with you.
Don't make yourself small for anyone. ANYONE.
Be yourself, completely and unapologetically. Some people won't like that, and that is okay. That is not your problem. It's theirs.
If they don't like what they see, what they hear, and what they feel when they are around you, then they will miss the privilege of being your friend, friendly acquaintance, romantic partner, giraffe trainer, etc.
Wave them a heartfelt and grateful goodbye, and think to yourself, "This person isn't good for me. Next!"
We sometimes feel like we need someone else to give ua permission to do things like let our "give-a-shits" break and be exactly who the hell we are. Consider this post your permission.