• Larkyn Simony

Yes, Larkyn, There is a Coronavirus

Updated: May 12

Did you ever personally see Charlie Sheen do cocaine off a hooker’s ass?

Is There a Coronavirus?

We take pleasure in answering at once and thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of this publication.

DEAR EDITOR: I am 42 years old.

Some people around me and some I see on the news say there is no such thing as coronavirus, or COVID-19. They say it is no worse than the flu, and even that it is a hoax. I contracted it in a place I often visit because no precautionary measures were taken there, and I have felt pretty sick while I've had it, and many people get way sicker than I have been. Some even die. I don't feel safe going to that place I've visited for so long anymore. It makes me afraid of how other important health and safety issues might be handled there in the future.

I also see people everywhere, in this country and around the world, not taking precautions to keep from spreading the virus.

Science and my friends say, 'If you see STATISTICAL AND PROVEN SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE, it's so.'

Please tell me the truth; is there a coronavirus?



LARKYN, the people around you, in that place you often go, and on the news, are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of an age in which people eschew others' health and safety for the sake of their own comfort and entitlement. They do not believe except they see. They cannot see virus particles; therefore, they do not believe they are real. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Larkyn, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, LARKYN, there is a coronavirus. It exists as certainly as death, taxes, and Nickelback exist, and you know that they abound and are things almost no one on earth enjoys pondering or encountering. Alas! How wonderful would be the world if there were no coronavirus? It would be as wonderful as if no LARKYNS or other human beings got sick due to others' negligence and lack of caring. There would be no disruption of life as we once knew it, no inability to travel out of our countries or even our local areas, and no isolation to make nearly intolerable this existence. We should have great enjoyment, except in death, taxes, and Nickelback. The eternal light which freedom from illness and the ability to live our regular lives provide would fill the world and come to us once again.

Not believe in coronavirus! You might as well not believe that hipsters will always enjoy avocado toast! You might hire men to comb through all the proven scientific evidence from all the peer-reviewed scientific and medical journals in existence. These men might collect verifiable data from all legitimate medical studies and share the words of our most expert scientists and public health officials from around the world, but even if they collected all this verifiable scientific information about coronavirus and how it spreads, what would that prove? Nobody sees viruses, but that is no sign that there is no coronavirus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever personally see Charlie Sheen do cocaine off a hooker's ass? Probably not, but that's no proof that it didn't happen. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the things there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You might visit all the hospitals in all the world, collect statistics on their rates of illness and death from coronavirus, and collect these same statistics in the general population that did not go to hospitals. You might even figure out why some people enjoy the movie Twilight, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only a belief in science, a willingness to look beyond our own self-interest, a desire to work together to protect the health and safety of all mankind, proper social distancing protocols, the elimination of the selfish idea that wearing a mask violates "ma freedoms," and a readiness to sacrifice the former everyday joys of gathering in groups with others can push aside that curtain of denial and begin to eradicate a virus we cannot see with our eyes. Is coronavirus real? Ah, LARKYN, in all this world, there is nothing else so real and abiding.

No coronavirus? Don't we wish! We don't want it to live, and with the current behavior of much of humanity, it seems it might live forever. A thousand years from now, Larkyn, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, it feels like coronavirus may continue to weigh heavy on the hearts, minds, and quality of life of all mankind.

Yet, it might live on unless mankind wakes up to its own damaging self-interest, takes proper precautions, and works together for the good of all people to eliminate it.

Yes, Larkyn, there is a coronavirus, and you must do your part to stop it. Like coronavirus, which hides by being so small as to not be seen with man's own eyes, you must hide your nose and mouth under a mask every time you are around anyone you don't live with, even though you have already had the virus.

This post was adapted from the original editorial, "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus," which ran in The New York Sun in 1897.

All changes made to the original editorial and all opinions expressed herein are the blog author's own.

For a history and discussion of the original letter, famously referred to in popular culture by its original title, "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus," please visit this link to Project Gutenberg. You will also find an image of the original editorial there.

To donate to Project Gutenberg, please click here.

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

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